Wednesday, August 1, 2007

Gregor Samsa Returns

I was just about to start typing a post about how His Awesomeness is also a stinkbug who put Polka music on my iPod so that it turns up unexpectedly when, well, when I least expect it.

But that was interrupted by the appearance of Yet Another Unreasonably Large Roach. I ran to get HA's weapons of choice (dustpan and old large yogurt container), all the while deciding that I would instead post about how he was Not There in my Time of Need.

And then I was too freaked out to actually smack the bug with the dustpan and cursed HA for Turning Me Into a Wuss.

Then I ran away and looked in all the cabinets for bug spray that I was sure we didn't have because I prefer the catch and release method. I also prefer my bugs to be small enoguh to fit under the yogurt container. We are talking about the big 2 pounder here. Any living thing in my apartment too big to fit under one of those things needs to be chipping in on the rent. Instead, it just kept waving its antennae at me, as if to say, "Yeah, I know I'm making your skin crawl. Whaddya going to do about it?"

Just as I was wondering if spraying the damn thing with oven cleaner would get me anywhere, I found a big honking can of Raid. From HA's old apartment. He has now been promotoed to His Awesomeness, Provider of Spray Poison That Allowed Me to Teach That Fucker Who's Boss.

There's no food in this room, so I don;t know what the buggers want anyway. I just hope they're not after the yarn.

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