Thursday, September 13, 2007

Desert Island

I'm not quite sure how it happened, but just a few days ago, I was all caught up on my Bloglines. Now? 175 unread posts. Just when I had started thinking that maybe people had cut down on their blogging because they were all playing on Ravelry, it all starts up again.

Back in the halcyon days of a couple of days ago, I checked out some blogs that were new to me (linked to by my usual reads) and subbed to a bunch more. One of them is having a blog contest.

What three things would you take to a desert island with you, and why?

I'm usually not big on these desert island things, since I simply can't be expected to choose. But the contest with it's promise of a chance at yarny goodness got me thinking about it.

Item #1 Lip Balm
Back in the first or second season of Survivor, one of the contestants brought lip balm as her luxury item. I would have never auditioned for that show, let alone be cast, but I knew that I would need something lippy as my luxury item as well. I have 4 different lip balms and at least one lipstick in my purse right now (that inability to narrow it down I just mentioned).

I broke my Blistex addiction years ago. (Some lip moiturizers contain alcohol, which dries you out, so you put on more every, oh, I don't know, 5 minutes or so.) But even now that I've switched to the non-drying stuff, I'm afraid to be stuck on the freaking subway with dry lips. On a desert island? I'd be inventing a new kind of lip balm if I didn't already have some with me. I'd grind every plant on the island into a paste and dabbing it on my lips.

If I had to narrow it down to one kind, I'd have to go with Burt's Beeswax Lifeguard's Choice because it has sunscreen. I don't use it as often as Rosebud Salve or Vaseline, but if you put petroleum jelly on your lips and go to the beach, you get sunburned lips. I learned that the same day (and the same way) that I learned that spray-on suncreen also needs to be rubbed in, no matter what the package says.

And speaking of petroleum jelly, it's one of the reasons that people need to drive less. Do you people not realize that when we use up all the petroleum, it's not just gas we'll be out of? What the hell will I put on my lips then?! And there will be no plastic either! What kind of container will my lip balm come in then, huh? Bicycles, people! Use public transportation, or everyone's lips will be chapped! I don't want to live in a crazy dystopia like that, people!

OK, I'm OK now. Where was I? Oh yes.

#2 Swiss Army Knife
#3 Boy Scout Manual

Because #2 would allow you to make all the other tools you need and #3 would tell you how. Plus, my swiss army knife comes with a litle tweezer--not only good for removing island splinters, but also for that all-important grooming as the rescue ship approaches.

If #2 and #3 are cheating, then I'll have to go with my Riverside Shakespeare Collection from college because I'd love to read the whole thing over and over again, but it's huge and heavy and not subway reading and so I haven't even gotten through it once. On a desert island, I'd have the time to read through it and I could use it as a weapon if I could manage to lift it in time to hit something with it.

My other alternate item would be my glasses (in lieu of my contact lenses which I have been wearing all day every day since I was 13). Why would I trade the contacts for glasses? Maintenance. Once I ran out of lens solution, I'd either have to ruin my eyes by wearing my disposable lenses for months at a time, or take them out and be unable to see more than 2 inches past the tip of my nose. Glasses are clearly the way to go in a survival situation. I might even swap them for the boy scout manual.

I've actually thought a lot about the contacts vs. glasses in a survival situation because what if the aliens come to enslave the human race? (I'd worry about HA reading that I think about that sort of thing and calling off the wedding because I'm just too weird, but if he hasn't thought about the same exact thing, then he isn't the man I think he is.)

So the aliens are enslaving, and I need to toil away in the dilithium mine until I can lead the rebel uprising. You can't overthrow the alien oppressors if you can't see them.

You'd stab your second in command and be all, "Sorry, Bob, that green jacket you have on makes you look like one of the Visitors."

Definitely glasses.

1 comment:

  1. As a fellow glasses-wearer, I say, "Hear! Hear!"

    In one of my grad school courses, we were talking about technology and culture or something like that, and the professor commented that if he'd been born deep in the Amazon jungle he probably would have died years ago because of his bad eyes. That comment always stuck with me, 'cause I'd be in the same boat!

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