Actual e-mail exchange:
Sorry it took me so long to reply -- our internet has been down for the past
three hours! (gasp!) I was on and off the phone with Verizon tech support
for an hour, with them eventually telling us that they had done all they
could do on their end and the only thing left would be for a techie to come
in to look at our equipment...first thing next week.
And then an hour later it magically got better.
I don't pretend to understand this thing we call the Internet.
Well, you see the internet is a serious of tubes. And sometimes the little hedgehogs who carry the information through the tubes get stuck. And then all the other hedgehogs who get stuck behind them have to push them until they get unstuck.
Verizon just keeps trying to lure the stuck hedgehogs out by putting dishes of Hedgehog Chow at an opening. But this just gets eaten up by other hedgehogs, who then put on weight and get stuck in the tubes themselves.
And now you know.