Monday, December 8, 2008

What Would You Have Done?

So I was riding the subway this morning when I realized that the dirty old man sitting across from me was jerking off through his sweatpants. Ew.

Then I realized that he was stealing glances at a girl a little bit away sitting with her Dad. She must've been around 14 or 15. 


My choices, as I saw it were as follows.

  1. Yell loudly, "Hey Perv, give it a rest."
  2. Get up and stand where I'd be blocking his view of the girl.
  3. Get up and stand where I'd be blocking his view of the girl and quietly tell her Dad that they should move.
  4. Position the book I was reading to block my view of his activities and do nothing and say nothing. 
I went with #4. The girl and her Dad had no idea what was going on and anything else might have tipped them off. This way, as far as they're concerned, it never happened and the girl can go on in life for a little longer not knowing about disgusting dirty old men.


On the bright side, the girl and her Dad got off at the same stop and I did, and the guy was still at it when we left. Because the only thing more disgusting than a dirty old perv jerking off in the subway is a dirty old perv finishing wanking in the subway.

I wish I could pop the top of my head off so I could rinse out my brain.


  1. Oi, that's disturbing. I would like to say that I would have gotten up and stood in between them to block his view, but I likely would have done the same thing you did for the same reasons.

    I used to have to weed out the pervs who called in when I worked on the Distress Help Phone line as a volunteer. I can honestly say I've had to ask someone, "Sir, what are you doing with your hand right now?" Ew...just ew...

  2. Speaking of innocence, what would you have given at that moment to have no idea what the guy was doing? Or to have not noticed him in the first place?

    I was in a similar situation once - I started with #4 for a while, but then moved to #2 (interposition). Then again, I was 6'3" and 200+ lbs, so I can do that sort of thing without worry.

  3. He's embarassing you by jerking off, why not embarass him by announcing to everyone on the train that he's jerking off in front of them? No need to mention the girl specifically, just make a great, big, freakin' scene. I mean, what kind of world is it if we look the other way when pervs are jerking off on the train?


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