Thursday, January 22, 2009

Have You Been Watching This Show?

True Beauty?

Have you seen it? Have you grown to love it as I have?

So there are these 10 people who have entered a reality show competition to determine the most beautiful person in America. So already you know they're bringing the vapid.

But the producers are playing a practical joke on the contestants. They're still judging them on their little photo shoots and fashion challenges, but they have hidden cameras and actors putting them through challenges to see if they're beautiful on the inside.

Shallow people being publicly humiliated? I am so there.

For example, the first challenge was when they were first meeting each other. A waiter walked over to them, tripped and spilled water all over them. One woman asked the guy if he was okay, one or two guys helped other people dry off and one woman was OMG my lucky gold shoes!


In another one, the actress playing their costume person for their sports photo shoot kept getting phone calls from her boyfriend on her cell phone and fighting with him and crying. Out of the 8 contestants, 2 comforted her or asked if she was OK. One guy actually told her to "suck it up" because the winner gets their picture in People Magazine.

Of course, all this bad behavior is punctuated by shots of the judges watching the footage in their secret location, commenting on it all.

Then they narrow it down to 2 people who are at risk of getting kicked off the show. So they have to get dressed up and report to, I shit you not, The Hall of Beauty, where there are these huge portraits of the remaining contestants.

They throw another hidden camera challenge on them as each person walks from the SUV to the Hall of Beauty. So who goes and who stays is totally determined by which one stopped to help the bike messenger who just fell 5 feet away from them, or whatever. But the judges/producers still make them beg for their lives. And of course, they pull out the typical reality show arguments: I should stay because I want to win SO MUCH. The competition is the culmination of my entire life.

Knowing that whatever they say makes no difference, makes it super, extra funny.

Then, after they send one person back to the house, they tell the evictee about the hidden camera challenges and show them the footage. It's pretty much, "We were testing you to see if you're a douchebag and you passed that test, Sweetheart." The reactions shots as the evictee finds out that they were judged to be a bad person are worth the price of admission, right there.

But that's not even the best part of the show! After they're all finished? These 2 janitors come in, take down the portrait of the evictee and place it in a dumpster and wheel it away. And I laugh and laugh. I'm laughing now just thinking about it. The tribe has spoken. Your portrait is no longer worthy to hang in The Hall of Beauty.

That Ashton Kutcher is a fucking genius.


  1. I haven't watched it, but thanks to your review, I'm so there now.

  2. This is the first time in years that I actually wished I had cable. (It is cable, right? God, I'm so out of the media loop...)

  3. I love that show... bummed it's not on tonight!


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