Sunday, March 1, 2009

More Reality Goodness

Reality TV, I mean. My actual reality has me at Day 12 of a cold (aren't those things supposed to be 7-10 days? Bastards.) I haven't even been able to work on the novel. I've just been at one with the couch. One day, I wasn't even up to watching things I hadn't seen before (as is my wont, so I can feel like I'm accomplishing something), so I had an 80s teen movie marathon. Sixteen Candles, followed by Pretty in Pink and Say Anything. 

The mean girl in Pretty in Pink who picks on Molly Ringwald? Totally grew up to be the 5th final cylon

OK, so on the finale of True Beauty, the winner was the one person who had passed all their hidden camera challenges. And hooray for her. But the editing and scripted "deliberation" by the judges made me doubt for a minute who they were going to pick, so it was actually a little dramatic. And THAT my friends, is what writers of reality shows do. These shows aren't unscripted, so much as they are scripted after they're filmed.

And now for my next guilty pleasure. Tonight, the new season of The Celebrity Apprentice is premiering. I watched all but one of the non-celeb season because after working in an office for over a decade, I really enjoyed seeing Aspiring Corporate Weasels (tm Television Without Pity) jump through hoops, make asses of themselves and then actually get kicked out for sucking. (In actual reality, of course they get promoted for sucking.)

The first celeb season was all, Damn, Gene Simmons is crazy and Whoa, Piers Morgan is making Omarosa look like the bigger person and who the hell is he, anyway. (Piers is one of the judges of America's Got Talent and is allegedly famous in the UK. He kept complaining that Assarama (also tm TWoP) wasn't famous enough to be on the show. It came out during the show's run that his hostility was because she had approached him, suggesting they engage in a "showmance" to get more screen time and he was repulsed and disgusted by this. To which I say, dude, grow the fuck up. The woman has said ON CAMERA that she has no career outside of reality shows. She does stuff to get more screen time, so she'll be invited to do other shows. And also give her current show something to put on air. (Let us not forget Real World season 2, where the housemates barely hung out with each other. They dragged one incident to 3 episodes and then jumped a month because NOTHING interesting had happened. For season 3, they cast a villain so they could get material. I'll take Omarosa's stunts over Puck's snot any day.) Oh, and Piers? Janice Dickinson made Omarosa look like the better person on The Surreal Life long before you ever met her, so shut up and stop making me take that crazy bitch's side.)

Yes, I'm still pissed Piers won. Why do you ask?

So anyway, this season has Dennis Rodman and Joan AND Melissa Rivers. Plus figure skating superstar Scott Hamilton. Hilarity will ensue.

I'll be the one on the edge of my seat.


  1. I'll be there with you.

    For the record, I LOVED Gene Simmons. My husband and I still use a couple of his lines around the house, "I'm a powerful and attractive man," and when asked is sign, " Dollar sign, baby." He was high entertainment value for us.

    I can't wait to see who makes the show worth watching this time. My guess, Joan Rivers.

  2. It's a shame normal Apprentice got so lame - it was 'hyooge' the first few seasons. But Celeb1 was fun, and I DVR'd it tonight.

    Betts, ITA about Gene. I watch "Family Jewels" because he was such a personality on CelebApprentice.

    Didn't realize you were a TWoP fan. I have to admit I liked it better with the Sars/Wing/Glark crew; it felt more "family-ish".


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