Monday, October 5, 2009

I Came Through Almost Unscathed

Via Manolo for the Big Girl, Rotten Tomatoes has released a list of the worst 100 movies of the past decade.

As I breezed through the list casually, I started to feel smug. I dodged all those bullets. I hadn't seen a single one. I'd seen the original Yours, Mine and Ours, but it was the 2005 remake that was on the list. The original was good (even though Lucille Ball's character was pregnant and Lucy herself was post-menopausal).

And then I got to #29 on the list. Bless the Child. It was my then boyfriend's idea. I was so happy to get an evening out that I didn't object to the selection. To this day, I couldn't tell you if I thought it was a good or a bad movie. Because every single scary scene hit one of my phobias.

Driving across bridges freaks me out. (Because every time we drove across the Verrazano Bridge on the way to New Jersey, my brother would ask my mom, "if you drove off this bridge, how would you die? Would you drown? Have a heart attack before you hit the water? His scientific curiosity was my lifetime of phobia.) The bad guys in this movie try to get rid of Michelle Pfeifer by drugging her, and she wakes up in a car, driving the wrong way on the Verrazano Bridge, with an open bottle of scotch on the seat next to her. In her attempts to not crash, she hits the side of the bridge and the car starts to teeter. An angel saves her and I am blinded with terror.

Somebody also fell off a building, or was pushed, or something. My fear of heights has me freaking out on roofs where the walls are so high that I'd never fall accidentally. But I'm a big scaredy baby and this movie totally made it worser.

And, apparently, it wasn't even a good movie.

How many on the list have you seen?

3 comments:

  1. I don't see movies much because I'm a weirdo, but I'm always a little nervous crossing big bridges too.

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  2. I've seen none of the movies on that list--whew!

    (Larry the Cable Guy is on there at least three times. Seriously? How does he get to keep making movies?)

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  3. I've seen 2. Several others have been viewed in my home, but after mere moments I had the good sense to leave and spend the two hours in a more functional pursuit, like eating paste.

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