Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Thanksgiving Survival Guide

Not entirely work safe post, though it's just text.

OK, so Thanksgiving is upon us and while some people are making sure they have enough cranberries, the rest of us are making sure that we have enough tranquilizers. (Can't wait to see what ads go with that line. Also? Cats with crooked teeth!)

Psych Central has 10 Tips for Surviving Thanksgiving with the Dysfunctional Family. They are excellent ideas, even though they have nothing to do with quaaludes, which is a really fun word to say. Go ahead and say it. Isn't it fun? Try saying it to yourself when one relative tells you that you're too dressed up 5 minutes after someone else has told you that you're not dressed up enough. It takes the edge off.

My little trick for getting through the day is carrying with me this little piece of information: There is a porno called The First Spanksgiving.

Makes you happy to be alive, doesn't it?

You're curious, so I'll just explain that it has 5 women in 1950s clothes sitting down to a fancy Thanksgiving dinner. Spanking starts happening. At the end, they all toast "Happy Spanksgiving!"

And now it takes a concentrated effort not to wish people a Happy Spanksgiving, which makes the whole holiday like a little game.

And now, you'll have to play too.

Happy Spanksgiving!

**Don't forget the contest that runs until December 9. Leave a comment, possibly mentioning the amusingness of the Goodle Ad served up with a post, and you get entered in a giveaway of a box of stuff that will include cookies. The more you comment, the more chances you have to win. I should probably mention that the cookies will probably be imported from Japan, so that's cool. There will also be novelty salt & pepper shakers. Depending on who wins, I'll throw in some craft supplies or chocolate or whatever. In honor of WKRP in Cincinnati, there will be a tube of lip balm.


  1. Today's ad is Food Network.
    The Best Thanksgiving Recipes. PERIOD.
    Unfortunatly not the best SPANKSgiving Recipes Period. Those usually are thing about wrist snapping or tool usage i.e. belts, floggers, or paddles.

  2. "Cats with crooked teeth!"

    Nice try. Today, though, all I see are ads for Bruno.


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