Monday, December 14, 2009


Scene from my parents' Christmas/Hannukah party this Saturday:

Uncle Matt: Can I help?
Mom: The hams need carving. I'll get you the knife.
Uncle Matt: I brought my own. Actually I brought two. And the meat slicer is out in the car, just in case*.
Me: You know, in some families, someone bringing two knives to a party might be a bad thing.

*In case Mom made roast beef.

The cool thing about Uncle Matt carving the roasts is that when you play-distract him** so you can steal a bite, he thinks it's funny and acknowledges that the meal has not been Christened until someone steals some yummies from a serving plate. (Plus, it's extra good that he doesn't mind because of all the knives.) Try that shit with some stuffing on Thanksgiving while one of my aunts is watching and you're taking your life into your own hands.

** As in, "Look over there, it's Elvis!" or "Oh look, the Pope!"


  1. Oh thank you Jen I really needed to read this. It made my day much much nicer. As to bringing knives well almost all of us have Wusthof knifes so the only thing we would possibly bring is sharpening stones. lol

  2. Every family needs an Uncle Matt! In my family, no one knows how to carve anything properly. Makes for a lot of scrappy meat pieces, though, perfect for stealing on the sly.

    Loved reading your posts. You are hysterical, and an excellent writer. Wishing you a very merry Christmukkah!


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