Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Sewing Dreams and Fantasy Hair

Sewing Machine HKLast night I dreamed that I was on Project Runway (automatic video warning) and the challenge was to make outfits for one of the other designers. (They actually did that one in whatever season Santino was in.) I had to make a dress for Becky (again with the automatic video), who is one of this season's contestants.

My dress ideas were all over the place, and when we finally got to Mood to shop for fabric, the store had been remodeled and there was hardly any fabric. At least that I could find. Everyone else found fabric just fine. But everything I touched turned out to be a ready made skirt, or table runner or whatever.

I finally decided to make her a bright red dress and found some bolts of red fabric. I got 2 yards of it, which was probably not enough. When I went to pay, all the other designers were waiting. Tim Gunn had taken pity on me and was letting me shop longer. He'd even left some of his own money to pay for my fabric.

Even more unrealistic than Tim bending the rules was the price the cashier rang up--$6. Not that I know the going cost of fabric, but most weeks, the Project Runway designers have a budget of over $100 for fabric & notions. (Oh, and in the dream, I realized too late that I hadn’t bought any notions--thread to match the fabric, a zipper, etc. Good luck making a dress without that stuff.) Season 1 winner Jay McCarroll once said in an interview that he once paid $15 just to fart in Mood. I visited Mood looking for fabric for my wedding dress. It was cheaper to order fabric online from St. Louis.

I'm just glad I woke up before I had to try to make the dress.

Before I had the dream, I was planning to blog about the return of so-ridiculous-it's-awesome reality show Hair Battle Spectacular (automatic video warning--what is *wrong* with these people?!). In season one, all the hair stylists had ridiculous nicknames like Cajmonet (pronounced like "cas" in "casual" and "monet" like the painter, and meaning "cash money"), Fingaz (because she has just fast fingers) and Minista (because she's an internet minister, or something, mostly for the purpose of performing gay marriages).

Minista uttered the best sentence ever spoken on any reality show ever: If Sexy Lexi wins Hair Battle Spectacular, it will be a slap in the face to fantasy hairstylists all over the world.

Sweet, sweet hyperbole, I love it so.

It's hard to tell if anything that awesome will happen in season 2, but I can dream.

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