- Find an agency that only deals with adoptions from the foster system. There are 2 in NYC. COAC and AdoptUs, if you're interested. Regular foster agencies deal with fostering and only have a few kids a year free for adoption, so they're not the right place to go unless you want to foster first. Regular adoption agencies might be able to help, but there may be a cost involved.
- Take a parenting class that is mostly there to scare you off by letting you know what you're getting into. There's also some talk about how raising a kid from the system is different. The class was 2 nights a week for 4 weeks in our case. I have a friend in Florida whose class was 1 day.
- Fill out forms and gather papers (tax return, paid bills, etc.) and submit to agency.
- Have your 4 references send reference letters directly to the agency.
- Get fingerprinted.
- Have home study, in which a social worker visits the apartment, interviews the prospective parents and takes notes about the home.
- Wait 2 months for the social worker to write up the home study/profile.
- Wait for busy workers at agency to review and edit home study. This took months for us--budget cuts = staff cuts = big workloads. This is what small government looks like. Call your congressperson.
- Review and comment on home study.
- Repeat previous 2 steps to finalize home study.
- Start looking at kid's online profiles.
- Ask agency to submit home study for every kid that seems like a match.
- Wait while the individual agency handling each kid's case reviews the home studies of all the interested potential parents.
- Full Disclosure meeting with the kid's agency. This only happens if they want to consider you further. This is when they tell you all the details of the kid's background. You ask questions and they ask questions--it's like online dating with a matchmaking committee. We've heard back about one kid so far and we we went a detailed history of the kid before scheduling this meeting. No idea if this is typical.
- Meet the kid. This may happen after you're matched, or when they've narrowed it down to a few potential parents.
- If it's a match, you have several supervised visits with the kid. After a while, you can take them out without supervision for a few hours.
- Then the kid can come stay for a weekend visit, 2 weekends in a row. If you're adopting from another state, this may be different. They may be less visits, the weekend visits happen at a hotel in the kid's state so they never see your house until the next step, etc.
- If all goes well, the kid moves in with you.
- It takes 6-12 months to finalize the adoption, during which the kid is still in the foster system, so a social worker stops by once a week (or once a month--I've heard both) to check up on things.
Monday, January 30, 2012
- The super came and fixed the plumbing on Friday (2 days after I first told him about it). Because it was an emergency.
- I'm really looking forward to the Oscars this year because there will be a performance of a song from the Muppets.*
- And Bret McKenzie is totes gonna win an Oscar. I don't even have to hear the other nominated song to know that.
- That may be the first time I've ever used "totes" in a sentence.
- With that meaning, I mean. It's not like I've never mentioned tote bags in my life.
- I keep imagining Bret and Jemaine in their TV apartment. Bret tries to find the perfect spot for his Oscar and Jemaine is all, "Bret, stop showing off your Academy Award. We're a band. You shouldn't have written a song without me."
- Here's a song by someone I went to high school with. My fave lines because they bring me back to my days of trying to socialize and date in a city crawling with hipsters:
Just to sit next to you
Friday, January 27, 2012
- Wake up to discover that cold faucet isn't closing at all and there's an annoying amount of cold water running.
- Try to adjust it and make it worse.
- Realize that this didn't get worse with no one touching it. His Not-So-Awesomeness just didn't notice after his shower.
- Get screwdriver and pliers to turn off cold water the hard way.
- Discover my inability to loosen the screw on the tap cover, due to a combination of my own illness-induced weakness and how tight the super made the screw when he last worked on the faucet.
- Perform morning ablutions.
- Turn off water to the entire apartment under the kitchen sink.
- Check the bathtub.
- Discover that I only turned off the water to the kitchen sink.
- Turn on kitchen sink water supply.
- Turn off apartment water supply (mostly, see above referenced illness-induced weakness).
- Check the bathtub.
- Discover that water is closer to a trickle now.
- Try unscrewing the faucet cover again.
- Consider divorcing His Not-So-Awesomeness.
- Think better of it.
- Have breakfast.
- Turn water back on.
- Take shower.
- Attempt to turn water off with towel turban on head.
- Swear profusely.
- Remove towel.
- Turn water off.
- Leave apartment for doctor's appointment and work, relieved that at least the super unclogged the bathtub drain last week so I don't have to stay home bailing it out all day.
Wednesday, January 25, 2012
Monday, January 23, 2012
For your edification and entertainment, a report on my weekend:
So I visited a friend who lives up around Boston this weekend and we went dancing at some club in Saugus or some such place (because we decided that our time was better spent boogeying than driving all the way into Boston).
My friend teaches aerobics, goes out dancing almost every single weekend and is a fabulous dancer (as well as being pretty & having a nice body--a detail which will come into play shortly). So whenever we go dancing, she gets lots of attention (being one of the best dancers in the room, if not the best, plus the thin & pretty thing).
This gives me the additional entertainment of observing her would-be suitors.
Saturday night's would be suitor: tall, skinny suburban white guy, who danced like a tall, skinny suburban white guy.
Tactical error #1: Deliberately ogling and talking to his friends about Hot Girl in full view of her Fat Friend (Since I've stolen all my dance moves from her, I really do resemble a heavier version of her when we're out dancing).
A) Fat Friend will undoubtedly tell Hot Girl about this & maybe she's sick & tired of being ogled while she's dancing and possibly
B) Fat Friend could be bitter from not being ogled when out dancing and could pout & encourage Hot Girl to leave early. (Just a theoretical possibility that should not be ignored when dealing with Fat Friends of Hot Girls--THIS Fat Friend didn't give a rat's ass about being ogled as she was too busy rejoicing that the DJ was accomodating her & her friend's requests for cheesy disco songs--Abba, Bee Gees, sigh.)
Tactical error #2: Attempting to dance with Hot Girl without bringing over a friend to dance with the Fat Friend. This leaves the Fat Friend free to
A) rescue Hot Girl from lame guy following pre-arranged signals and
B) observe all his lame-ass attempts to get Hot Girl to like him so she may then report on same allowing Hot Girl & Fat Friend to laugh at him on the way home.
Tactical error #3: Failing to notice that he was not a very good dancer and that dancing in close proximity to Hot Girl/Dancing Queen results in making him look extra-dorky and making Fat Friend surreptitiously laugh really hard at him while still in the club.
Tactical error #4: Trying to endear himself to Hot Girl by making multiple attempts to do The Bump with the Fat Friend until she finally snaps & says, "You need to stay the fuck away from my ass." (It actually did my bitchy NYer's heart good to be mean to him, so he may actually get bonus points for this one.)
Tactical error #5: While wisely retreating during the playing of "I Will Survive", retreating all the way out the room, thus allowing Hot Girl & Fat Friend to leave completely unaccosted. Poor suitor must now wonder if he would've gotten Hot Girl's phone number if he had actually asked. This made extra-pathetic and tragic in light of:
Tactical Error #6: Suitor chose to pursue a Hot Girl who met her ex-husband while out dancing thereby rendering all his efforts (which may include going to the same club next week to look for her) completely useless (except, of course, for the boundless amusement provided to HotGirl and Fat Friend).The best part was that my friend didn't notice any of this going on while we were at the club. Even the part when he indicated to me via gestures that he thought my friend was really hot. There was much laughing on the drive home as I described the above to her.