#2 I am a mean, scary person because HA was going to ask if I'd taken Immodium before the sleepless night, but he figured I'd get bitchy at him for suggesting something so obvious.
#3 That point in the stomach flu when you run to the bathroom every time you eat or drink something? It's just like being a Baby Alive doll. (That photo turns up when you search for "Baby Alive" in Flickr Creative Commons and it was too cute not to use.)
#4 I still have fond memories of my last bout of stomach flu, even while reliving the experience. It occurred at HA's apartment less than a year after we started dating. He got me Gatorade and saltines the next day and let me stay on his couch and showed me Carry On Up the Khyber. He really proved himself to be a Guy Who Does Not Suck.
He also pleaded with me to call an ambulance, but I didn't think it was necessary, and the experience was unpleasant enough without the addition of a bedpan and lack of privacy, so I refused.
#5 As ridiculous as it sounds, it's possible to be repulsed by the smell of Cheerios. Cheerios, people. Just when I thought my body had gotten bored with thinking up new ways to betray me--Cheerio intolerance.
Well played, Jen's body. Well played.