Wednesday, March 28, 2012

Chomp, Chomp

TeethI'm getting my new dental appliance today, which is super exciting, because it's the first step to not getting migraines all the fucking time. Which would be awesome. Even though it would diminish my super power.*

(*Speaking of which, kudos to PammieJR for someone up with the vaguely dirty-sounding superhero name, The Masticator. I've also been referring to myself as The Chompinator because HA and I have been watching Phineas and Ferb** on Netflix Watch Instantly and evil scientist Doctor Doofenshmirtz relies heavily on the -inator suffix when naming his inventions.)

(**Is that not the catchiest theme song? I don't even mind when it gets stuck in my head. Unlike Zou Bisou Bisou, featured in last weekend's Mad Men episode. That song stopped being amusing two days ago. I'm in serious need of a Zou Bisou Bisou-ectomy.)

Anyhoodles, new dental appliance. I'm a little nervous about the not losing or breaking it thing since it costs way more than my bite plate did back when I had braces, even when you adjust for inflation. Which I'm so not going to do because I really can't manage to care about the cost of a loaf of bread in 1982 or now. There's a bakery on the corner and a break machine in the kitchen, so neener.

Fortunately, I'm an adult who has managed to hold on to her purse, keys, cell phone, Kindle, hat, gloves and scarves for years, so I think I'll be able to avoid the exorbitant replacement fee. I may sew a special pocket into my purse lining to hold the handy plastic carrying case I assume they'll be providing. Also, health insurance actually covers some of the cost and less migraines means I'll be able to work more, so this doodad will be paying for itself several times over. I hope.

Until then, I'll continue to compile my list of people to bite with my super-strength jaws.

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