Wednesday, March 28, 2012

The De-Chompinator

So now I know why this thing is so expensive. The temptation to take it out and leave it in it's handy case is hooooge. But you don't spend this kind of money on something and then not use it. The price isn't for the materials or expertise it takes to make it. It's a deterrent.

The very nice technician ground away at the acrylic in the areas that were crowding my tongue and making me feel gaggy. Several times until she couldn't shave away any more and I could bear to have the thing in my mouth.

Although I've known for a while that I was getting a thingy to put in my mouth for a few months, this appears to be news to my mouth.

The first few hours went thusly:

Thing in my mouth, thing in my mouth, thing in my mouth. Thing in my mouth!

Where do I put my tongue? How about here? No, maybe here. Or over there. Or, gah! How am I not going to gag nonstop for the next 8 weeks?!

Breathe in. Breathe out. Breathe in. Breathe out. No, that's just making me more nervous.

This thing tastes terrible. Space-age monomers are not pleasing to the palate.

Thing in my mouth, thing in my mouth, thing in my mouth. Can't take it anymore!

Pop it out.


Put it back in.

Gag twice.

Take it out and store in handy hot pink carry case until gag reflex chills the fuck out.

Put it back in.

Maybe a lollipop would help the taste. The thing has got to start tasting like my mouth eventually, right?

I'm not entirely certain that's there's room in this mouth for a lollipop and the de-chompinator.


At least trying to keep the lollipop in my mouth is distracting me from the big plastic thing in my mouth.

Hey, if I put my tongue there, I can pop this thing out of place.

Nien! Behave!

Oh great, when I've partially dislodged it with my tongue, I start to gag.

Pop it out. Put it back in.


Two days later, I can tolerate the thing and it does taste more like my mouth than space-age monomers.

In other news, I have a new post up at ad lag.

Also, I was shocked and horrified to discover that Easter and Passover are next week. Thanks to the migraines, the past couple of years are a blur, but it still feels like Mardi Gras was just last week. Lent just flies by now that I don't give anything up.

While there's still time to order them, I wanted to tell you about these biodegradable reusable easter eggs. Refill them and reuse them all you want and then compost them. I read about them in a magazine and thought there were brilliant.* If things work out with our potential kid, I don't know if we'll hide eggs for her to find next year since she'll be a bit old for that, but maybe we'll buy some and she can hide them and HA & I will hunt for them. I'd definitely be happier using these than the plastic ones that never get put way for next year and keep turning up in the weirdest places.

(*Do I even have to mention that no one is paying me to promote this product to my tens of readers?)

1 comment:

  1. Those Easter eggs look fun. We don't use plastic eggs ourselves (well, except when we need "dinosaur" eggs for a scavenger hunt at a dino-themed birthday party—who know the Jurassic was so brightly colored?). A few days before Easter, we just dye a dozen eggs or so (with a trusty ol' Paas kit), and when Sylvia wakes up on Eastern morning she finds that the Easter Bunny has hidden them all over the yard (or the house, if it's raining) for her to find. We eat a lot of egg salad during the week after Easter. :)


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