I'm sure you can imagine that the added stress has been awesome.
But allow me to share an insight that hit me in the dressing room at Macy's Herald Square.
My mother owes me an apology.
It certainly seemed that buying me school clothes when I was in high school was agonizing. But since I hadn't been brainwashed by the invention of skinny jeans, my mother had it so easy, she doesn't even know.
Most mothers and daughters fight while buying clothes because the daughter wants to push the envelope on what she's allowed to wear. Not me & my mom. Our problem was the ricockulous dress code at my high school. You see, the dumbassess in charge, in their infinite dumbassery, banned all pants with outside back pockets. Think about that for a moment. Their "logic," if I may insult logic by calling it that, was that by banning any pants that looked like jeans, they could easily identify any public school kids who'd snuck into the building to cause trouble. In my four years of high school, this happened exactly never times.
So my mom and I would go on these ludicrous quests for pants with no outside back pockets and when we found a pair, she'd be fed up and want me to just buy them already. I had the slightly higher standards of wanting my pants to also be flattering, and not polyester.
This is a problem that could've been solved by my mom handing me some cash and sending me on my way. She could've enjoyed the entire experience from the comfort of a fainting couch.
Leap ahead to the new millennium where, to paraphrase Patsy Stone, pants are so tight that the whole world's your gynecologist. I've managed to explain fit and drape to The Kid and I've quoted Michael Kors ("that crotch is insane!") more times than is healthy. She's at peace with the fact that you have to try everything on and you can walk into a dressing room with twenty items and end up buying three.
But we're completely at an impasse over one thing.
Take a moment to absorb that.
The jeans are not completely tight around her ankles. Therefore, they are too big.
This could take an intervention from Tim Gunn, the entire What Not to Wear team and skinny jeans deprogramming team. And I'm still not confident they'd convince her that she's being a mite silly.
I'll be on the fainting couch if anyone needs me.