Monday, April 15, 2013

Let's Talk About Sexy Fun Times

Photo credit: je@n
In case you missed it, I have a piece up on YourTango about sexploration. Sexy fun times, indeed.

Now, this is going to sound weird coming from someone who likes to curse as much as I do. And who just published an article about role playing. The sexy kind, not the kind with elves. Unless that's what you're into. No judgement here.

But in the doctor's office the other day, I spied one of the Bachelors on the cover of People Magazine declaring that he and his chosen bachelorette were going to wait until their wedding night to have sex.*

Instead of thinking, " Yeah, right. Like you're going to still be a couple three weeks from now," like a normal person, I thought, "Oh, fer fuck's sake. Stop telling us about your sex life!" I don't give a flying fuck. Is he secretly gay? Are they lying? I so do not care.

My grandmother (the Catholic one) once told me that in her day they didn't think sex was bad, they just didn't talk about it. I didn't really see how these two things were exactly compatible at the time, but I'm starting to. If there is anything I learned in all those years of Catholic school, it's that no one talks about sex as much as people who aren't doing it. Or, presumably, the people in a tizzy worrying that their kids might do it, so they make with the purity rings and chastity balls. Which are as creepy as they are ineffective.

Have some fucking class, people. You don't see Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie talking to the press about how great their sex life is. Or isn't what with all those kids waking them up in the middle of the night.

When I did my post about sexual harassment, someone commented on FB about overhearing a bunch of female nurses at the pediatrician's office discussing Fifty Shades of Grey in front of a male nurse without noticing how uncomfortable it was making him. Putting aside the hostile work environment they were creating, they were discussing erotica where patients in the waiting room could hear them. At the pediatrician's office.

Now, I think it's great that we're finally talking about how women like erotic books. But there is a time and a place, people. And where children can hear you ain't it. Neither is your workplace.

Now, the internet. That is the place.

* Side note: I once worked with someone who did wait until she was married. Her upbringing in 1980s NYC was so sheltered that the only guys she met were friends of her brother, and that was in the presence of her entire family. After all those years of her family trying to keep her from having sex, it took her three nights to be comfortable enough with the idea to actually do the deed. 

Later on, the other person she'd told said to me that she didn't believe it and that the woman must've been lying. I can't imagine why anyone would make that up. Why else would she tell us if the entire thing hadn't freaked her out? They'd only been married a few months at that point and I think she told us just to make sure that we wouldn't think she was a total weirdo. 

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