Friday, May 24, 2013


The Singing Annoying Thing
Photo credit: Alan Isherwood
I'm feeling improved psychologically, possibly because now I feel like a complete failure as a knitter instead of as a mother, so I'm at least on familiar territory.

But I haven't achieved equanimity by any means. F'rinstance I keep getting annoyed at His Awesomeness. For example:

The new migraine-prevention medication I'm taking gives me a constant cough. It's a dry spot in my throat that doesn't go away for more than a moment if I drink water or use throat-numbing spray. My beloved decided to buy squash soup for dinner because of my throat. This made me super-ooper mad because it's hot and humid out and the soup isn't going to help anyway. This is, of course, his fault. What was he thinking, buy soup to soothe my throat? How do I put up with this guy?

Instead of the soup, we ended up ordering a pizza from the new brick-oven pizza place in the neighborhood. We also got a salad, so they gave us a Portuguese roll. Which he cut lengthwise (like he was making a sandwich) so we could share it. Lengthwise! God, what is wrong with this man?! How can I be married to someone who cut rolls that way? I mean, really. And then he butters the whole thing (my piece and his) and does he use enough? Of course he does not.

Also, I started to freak out over our financial situation. The whole Kid situation cleaned out our savings (the visits, the new wardrobe) and my migraines really get in the way of working. So while we were waiting for the pizza, I started freaking out over whether we really should be getting takeout and so one and so forth and he actually said that he should be the one worrying about our finances. 

For a moment, I thought he was about to start spouting some uncharacteristically sexist nonsense about how he had to support his sickly wife. But no. His rationale was that since freaking out is unproductive, he might as well take that on, since I have so little energy to spare. And apparently he does on top of his day job, his aspiring movie mogul side-job and his new gig as the organist at our local Lutheran Church. But he says he can fit it in during his commute. 

Still, I'm the high strung one in this marriage and he is not going to be moving in on my territory. If anyone is going to be freaking out around here, it's going to be me.


  1. I totally feel your pain. My husband cuts lemons lengthwise.

  2. Other than that, hilarious piece.

    And by the way, if I were a robot, I wouldn't have so much trouble reading your damn robot prevention software. And why would I be commenting anyway, unless I was an intelligent robot with a view on your piece, in which case why discriminate against me?

  3. Didn't anyone tell you? Every mother I've ever met feels like a failure much of the time, so you got that right. Comes with the territory.


All the cool kids are commenting. Give it a try, it's fun!