Thursday, February 13, 2014

Here We Go Again

So Tuesday, aka the day after I'd finished with the whole trying to find a chiropractor rigamarole, I woke up with pink eye. That's what I get for leaving the house the day before, I guess. Or maybe I caught it from Bob Costas, even though I'm not watching the Olympics. (Which is just as well because watching sports requiring being able to see the TV clearly and that's not something I can do with my crappy eye glasses. Not only is the prescription out of date, but the glare coating is coming off, making them less transparent than glasses should be.)

So I handled it like a sane human being. Sadly, my health insurance company (and in network providers) are not sane.

  1. I called my PCP's office and asked if she could fit me in. 
  2. Her office told me that she had an emergency and had to leave the office, so the earliest she could see me was Thursday afternoon.
  3. So I make an appointment and go bitch on Twitter.
  4. One of my tweeps suggests that I see if my PCP has someone covering for her (because how could she not?) and then call the insurance company to see about going to an Urgent Care Center.
  5. I called the PCP's office again and this time they me that she's out of the country and there's only a covering doctor on Monday and Thursday. Which this is not. So it's the covering doctor I have an appointment with, but they didn't bother mentioning that. "She's on the other side of the world. She's asleep. I can't call her to see if it's OK if someone else calls in a prescription for you."
  6. So I called the insurance company. They give me the name and address of an Urgent Care Center nearby.
  7. I have lunch because I figure I'll be waiting for hours at the Urgent Care Center.
  8. I hop on the subway for three stops and walk several blocks to the address they gave me.
  9. Which is a construction site. The building has been demolished.
  10. I call the insurance company and stand on the street freezing. 
  11. After four minutes of this, I decide to go into the pharmacy down the block and ask if the Urgent Care Center just moved, or went out of business.
  12. They give me the new address, which is in a completely different direction from the subway station than the one I'd just gone. 
  13. So I retrace my steps and walk a few more blocks.
  14. While walking, I call my husband and tell him to go on the state healthcare exchange website because we are switching companies. Last straw, thy name is construction site.
  15. I find a place with several "walk ins welcome" signs. They have a different name from what the insurance company gave me, but they are displaying signs for my insurance company.
  16. Too bad they're not taking any more walk-ins today.
  17. I start to melt down and explain about being sent to the wrong address.
  18. The receptionist them tells me that they don't take walk-ins on Tuesdays or Thursdays. Which is not what she said to me 60 seconds earlier.
  19. She then suggests I go to the emergency room. For something that is so not an emergency that I'll be waiting for hours. And paying $100 co-pay. To get some fucking eye drops.
  20. I call my opthamologist and leave a message. 
  21. I go home and call the insurance company to complain about being sent to A GODDAMN FUCKING CONSTRUCTION SITE.
  22. The first guy I speak to is like, OK I'll transfer you to a supervisor so you can lodge a complaint.
  23. The second person I speak to is not a supervisor, but takes down my complaint. She is oddly unsurprised to hear that I was sent to a location that isn't there any more. 
  24. She puts me on hold and my opthamologist calls on my other phone. I explain that I'm not allowed to see him without a referral, which I can't get because my PCP is out of the country with no coverage. He calls in a prescription for me.
  25. While I'm talking to him, the insurance company woman comes back on the phone and I ask her to hold on and explain what's going on.
  26. She then calls my PCP and finds out that there's a covering doctor at another office. She starts telling me that I can go today.
  27. I scream NO! Because I've just explained to her moments before that my opthamologist just called in a prescription and I don't need help, just to formally complain. Because, demolished building.
  28. Between her incompetence, refusal to listen, and complete lack of sympathy or surprise that they sent a sick person out into a freezing cold day to go to a building that isn't there anymore…I lose my struggle not to curse her out.
  29. I hang up, google the president of the insurance company and write him a letter explaining how much they suck.
  30. By now, the pink eye has spread to the other eye, so I've lost all chance of wearing a contact lens in the good eye and wearing my eye patch over the other eye. And this is why my opthamologist nagged me about getting better glasses. 
  31. Have I mentioned that I'm also on the tail end of a cold and I have tendinitis in my shoulder?
  32. Then I get a migraine, either from the cold, the stress or the pressure of my glasses on my nose (which is why I never wear them). 
So, how are you?


  1. Poor Jen. I don't have a vocabulary large enough to express my sympathy for you and my fury at your insurance company. I hope you are feeling better and that there weren't any complications getting the eye drops.

  2. I will never, ever complain about my insurance again. Are you sure yours is a real insurance company or are you on some kind of prank tv?

  3. Health care reform would have been nice. Unfortunately we got health insurance reform, and it needs sent to reform school. I am so sorry for the problems you are having, maybe knitting is dishcloth nice and tight would relieve some frustration. Good Luck!


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