Sunday, September 27, 2015

Popapalooza 2015

Silly hats off to the Swiss Guard for looking intimidating
in those outfits.
I asked HA if all the Lutherans have pope envy. He said no. Martin Luther broke from the Catholic church for 95 damn good reasons. He's also unimpressed because all the great liberal things Pope Francis has been saying are what HA's pastor was saying in the 80s. 

(Remember the joke that Windows 95  = Mac 1989? It's like that with Catholics and Lutherans.)

Pope Francis is super liberal. For a pope. He's not even that liberal for a Catholic. But as far as popes go? He's the Burning Man hippie of popes.

It sucks that the pope still thinks abortion is a sin, but it's awesome that he thinks it's a sin along the lines of a little casual coveting. It's progress. 

(Although I'm wondering now if priests were refusing to grant absolution to women who'd had abortions. Because those guys were willing to forgive serial killers and mass murderers as long as they were sorry. I'm not looking into this further because I really don't want to know.)

It looks like the pope is doing his damnedest to be a force for good in the world. Real good, not that "we help the poor and also sexually abuse a lot of children" flavor of good that previous popes had going on.

(NYC's Cardinal Egan performed some creative accounting back when he was Archbishop of Milwaukee in an attempt to hide money from sex abuse lawsuits. Every time I see him on TV, I say, "Fuck that guy," out loud, no matter who else is in the room. Goddess only knows what I'd say if I met him in person.)

I remember back when Pope John Paul II came to the US and people went crazy back then. But now it seems like the non-Catholics are equally excited.

A friend of mine has been understandably concerned at all the pope adulation. I mean, the guy is bigger than The Beatles.

He's quite the cult of personality, Pope Francis. As were Hitler and Mussolini. So, that's a bit worrisome. But JFK was a cult of personality too and he just used his power to get laid. I think we're OK as long as Pope Frankie keeps using his power to point out the evils of free market capitalism and shame world leaders into doing something about climate change.

He doesn't seem to want the power he has, which is a relief. He's declined so many of the fancy clothes, housing and cars that other popes have accepted as their due. I hope all previous popes are embarrassed, sitting in heaven on their elaborate heavenly thrones in their heavenly Gucci loafers.

But, dude, that Fiat? If you want to impress me by riding in a modest vehicle, it's gotta be a 2-door Fiat. Some friends of HA in Missouri have a 2-door Fiat and they gave us a ride a couple of years ago. Getting into the back seat involved some hilarious contortions. I saw the pictures of the pope getting out of a 4-door Fiat and was seriously unimpressed. Though, in fairness we now rent our own car when we visit Missouri so that I never have to get in the back seat of a 2-door Fiat again.

I'll leave you with this clip from Sweeney Todd because it's been stuck in my head the whole time Pope Frankie has been in town. Specifically, the line, "Nope! It was the pope!"

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